k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
