Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
