The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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