Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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