I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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