Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
