omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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