You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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