I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
