Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Terrible idea I love it
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
