I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize