im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize