My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
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