first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
