After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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