you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
