It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
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