yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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