I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
