Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
