am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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