it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
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