can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he thought i was a dude.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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