Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
this hospital has no fireball
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
