Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
