well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
