I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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