Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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