found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
