I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
