okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
