I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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