Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize