I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
