from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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