Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
