My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize