I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
