i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
