So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
