I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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