I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
