my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
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