Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
