spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
