I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
