after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
