Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize