we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
