We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
