BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
