I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
3pm strippers are depressing
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize