I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
no you cant smoke seaweed
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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