Kareoke will never be a sober sport
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
