I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
