During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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