one two three fourrrrnication!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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