It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
