Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Terrible idea I love it
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
