Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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