promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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