I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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