Where is the hickey?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
