its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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